Thoughts about life; For Janice, from me!

Tonight, i told her some rather personal information and inner thoughts. What i enjoyed in my 3 years here and my past experiences.... Retaining was never easy. I thought i could just get through it with my jovial personality. I thought if i just look on the brighter side, everything would be okay. Not till when i failed my MYEs last year. Chionging for promos was a good experience; i felt the love and care of my teachers for me, encouraging me on. Mugging and consultations with friends.

This year, i felt different. Things happened differently from what i thought it would be like. People left, one after another. Troubles came, CO, studies.... Actually, i do regret joining back CO in some ways. At least, if i didn't go back, i could have at least maintain a better relationship with the people around me. Knowing isn't difficult, retaining the same friendship bonds is.

I carry the burden of a 'senior'. I cannot be as wilful as i was like 2 years back, cos back then, i have my seniors to back me up and listen to my nonsense. This year, i have to shoulder this responsibility. Things happen, i got angry, then disappointed, then gave up and felt that this should have never happened. I decided to give up and let go, but to some extent, this tinge of regret stays. Returning back might have given me a brand new experience where i performed because i wanted to, not because i needed to. I'd served my bond 2 years back; i was part of the team that achieve the FIRST Gold with Honours Award in NYJC's history. but, it has given me regrets and troubles as well. If i could ever list down all the regrets i have in the years i've been in NYJC, probably half of it would come from CO.

I surely enjoyed my days as a musician and member of NYCO, but the stress, the events, the people behind it makes it even harder for me to comprehend the nature of Man. I realized that the complexity of Man is so profound i do not understand.

IF i was given a chance again, MAYBE..... things would have been much different.....

Hey gal, i really wanna thank you for reading my ramblings on and on. I really enjoyed my conversations with you and we could always divert our topics to many other things! haha. I really enjoy the many interactions we've had together and the process of knowing you better. Days may be darkening with the upcoming of all the stress and exams of JC, but it's always good to know that you've someone you can talk to. I look forward to many more good times with you. Be it studies or CO or even minor stuff like reading tau geh notes, you can always come find me too yeah?! Thanks so much gal. :)