Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Canon 600D
Dad bought me a DSLR yesterday. I must say it was kinda like a dream come true? I mean, I have been wanting a DSLR for the longest time. Thought I'd be really excited but no I wasn't. Was just happy and that's all. But still, I'm thankful for my parents who always get things I want for me. Even though the wait is long. Time for some photography from now onwards! =D
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Flowers
Have you ever wondered why girls like flowers? And why do guys not like to give flowers? Tonight, I asked around my friends the 2 questions and had some very good insights. BUT, I couldn't come to a conclusion and didn't exactly get any satisfying answer.
The latter may be an easier question to answer: Guys find flowers impractical and a waste of money because flowers can only last for a few days. Yes, flowers are indeed short-lived and they have no use at all. Guys would say that they'd rather spend the money on something more useful than flowers such as bags and food. But, I kept questioning if this stereotypical type of thinking is actually a valid reason and came to realize that it is very much, an excuse. No one said the flowers have to be real flowers. Fake flowers can be a very pleasant surprise to girls as well. AND, it can last for a very very long time. Then, have you thought of something more creative like... folding paper flowers? I remember receiving a box of paper flowers during Valentine's Day and it can be very satisfying as well. So... how is claiming the impracticality of flowers a valid reason for the unwillingness to purchase flowers for girls?
This leads to the former where we question why do majority of females like flowers? I must say that after asking for quite alot of opinions tonight, I didn't get an answer that convinced me. Laura said because giving flowers is a very sweet gesture. Well... I guess the pretty appearance of flowers make them look sweet? But How is getting a bag not as sweet as getting a flower? Pau said that it's a mentality and when people give you one, you'll be happy because drama people always receive flowers. Funny as it is but it's difficult to disagree that it's just a mentality that people have. Girls like flowers because it is stereotypical? Perhaps, that could be a good answer but it just lacks depth when we conclude everything and push the blame to "typical actions". Alvis said it is a symbol. I kinda agree on some level because flowers do carry meanings. Rose can be a symbol of love but is also a symbol of confidentiality of which, the meanings come from its origins. Therefore, we can deny that flowers are symbols which can arouse happy feelings amongst girls. I tried googling it and one of the better answer i found was that flowers are good "i am thinking of you" gifts. See, it is still a symbol afterall.
But eventually, as we look deeper, what exactly is our (girls') need for flowers? The best answer I can asnwer myself now is that, it is in the innate nature of girls to want to receive flowers.
What do you think?
The latter may be an easier question to answer: Guys find flowers impractical and a waste of money because flowers can only last for a few days. Yes, flowers are indeed short-lived and they have no use at all. Guys would say that they'd rather spend the money on something more useful than flowers such as bags and food. But, I kept questioning if this stereotypical type of thinking is actually a valid reason and came to realize that it is very much, an excuse. No one said the flowers have to be real flowers. Fake flowers can be a very pleasant surprise to girls as well. AND, it can last for a very very long time. Then, have you thought of something more creative like... folding paper flowers? I remember receiving a box of paper flowers during Valentine's Day and it can be very satisfying as well. So... how is claiming the impracticality of flowers a valid reason for the unwillingness to purchase flowers for girls?
This leads to the former where we question why do majority of females like flowers? I must say that after asking for quite alot of opinions tonight, I didn't get an answer that convinced me. Laura said because giving flowers is a very sweet gesture. Well... I guess the pretty appearance of flowers make them look sweet? But How is getting a bag not as sweet as getting a flower? Pau said that it's a mentality and when people give you one, you'll be happy because drama people always receive flowers. Funny as it is but it's difficult to disagree that it's just a mentality that people have. Girls like flowers because it is stereotypical? Perhaps, that could be a good answer but it just lacks depth when we conclude everything and push the blame to "typical actions". Alvis said it is a symbol. I kinda agree on some level because flowers do carry meanings. Rose can be a symbol of love but is also a symbol of confidentiality of which, the meanings come from its origins. Therefore, we can deny that flowers are symbols which can arouse happy feelings amongst girls. I tried googling it and one of the better answer i found was that flowers are good "i am thinking of you" gifts. See, it is still a symbol afterall.
But eventually, as we look deeper, what exactly is our (girls') need for flowers? The best answer I can asnwer myself now is that, it is in the innate nature of girls to want to receive flowers.
What do you think?
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Que Sera Sera
Good things are really worth waiting for.... Instantly went into the SMU ISIS portal to check before running into my parents room to tell them. Sent a copy of it to Sam and wl! told Alvis and Melissa thru whatsapp as well. Lastly, I called shao jun to ask her if she'd gotten it too. Helped her check and yay! she got in too!. happy max.
Now researching on Australia airfares and although my eyes are closing, I am really happy. You know, perhaps i was destined to join NYJC through DSA, being tied down by CCA leading to my bad results which caused me to retained, build up my foundation in following year, getting average A level results eventually and finally, reaching the end point. With my results, I probably just scrapped through the borderline for all the courses I applied for BUT, I made it. And I am really glad to say that I MADE IT TO UNI, not one but 4. Heck those who condemn me, said I couldn't make it or that I would be better off in a poly.
Ms Liang tried to comfort me abit in mid-april when everyone else had gotten acceptance letters but i didnt. She emphasized that "What's yours will be yours" and I really agree with it. Despite submitting my SMU application way earlier, before my NUS and NTU one, the wait was very long. With just 2 weeks before closing of round 1, I thought I had no chance already and was kinda settled for NUS. BUT, it came. Talk about right timing. I truely believe now in "Que Sera Sera" - Whatever will be, will be.
Thank you to everyone who helped me. =D
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
It's over.... Trust
Today was really hectic all day round. started with clearing emails and doing shortlisting. Teaching huiyi along the way. Towards the end of the day was even more busy. chionging everything like mad. wl and i switch seats and tasks. lol. Helped her experiment her charts while she helped me print my app forms. it was quite funny since the chart she plotted was fat while mine was slim....
Left office at 645pm with her and train-ed together. she exited the train at eunos when my mum called to ask me to eat something at eunos and go cdc myself... literally jumped out of the train. Looked for wl and she was really nice to accompany me to find some food to eat... Had the tau huey which may said was good. thought it was so-so only. took about 20mins to eat the tau huey while talking to her...
bus-ed to cdc. reached ard 830pm and i was so worried that i wont be able to book my driving tests! luckily the queue moved quite fast and i managed to book and get to my car on time... parallel parking today and it was fun! my instructor was a really chatty guy.. we talked alot while he taught and guided me to do parallel parking! i like him as an instructor man. but the car was quite bad. there wasn't cushion and i was rather short ( as usual) for the old car.... the steering wheel was really heavy but i guess just some arm exercises for me! haha.
Dad came to fetch me home. Showered and ate dinner at 11pm! oh well, good food are worth waiting for. hehehe.
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Today I showed wl my tumblr over lunch. It was really, a place where I concealed my thoughts during my most down periods last year and the special feelings for those few people which seems like it never went away. Honestly, I couldn't remb exactly what did i wrote about but roughly had an idea. Showing it to her was just as though i opened this little space of mine to some form of intrusion(which was the main reason why only A had access to it: i just wanted to protect my own thoughts). BUT, I didn't feel regretful or unhappy opening up and reading that own space myself. Afterall, She gave me her trust in telling me her thoughts, which in turn, gave me much more confidence to trust her with mine as well.
It's over, for the longest time already. I have braced through the obstacles and conquered A levels. I have led the most exciting adolescent period of my life in just NYJC. All that I have been through, it's long gone and remains as history in me.
I liked him. But i wasn't worth the wait. I came to realized that it's time to let go. He's been attached for 2 years now and our memories are history. It's time to move on. And I am glad that I came to a conclusion within myself that I have and will meet better people in my life who will in one point in time, change me for the greater good.
A levels was the toughest academic journey in my life but i have no regrets doing it. I have accomplished so much more and grown going through it. I have met people whose encouragements and help i couldn't have done without. Silin, pau, bella, ah ting, wip, kimmie. I conquered my lousiest subjects with tutors who never gave up on me. Ms V in lit and Ms Liang in maths. I'll probably never forget 11/11/11 and the times where ms liang dedicated all her time to us. I made it and am really proud of it.
So.... opening up the tumblr wasn't any form of harm to me afterall ( as i thought it would initially). I have gotten so much more affirmation and confidence in myself. Those emo times, it's over and I am moving to better times. Its those memories that pushes me to be more resilient and stronger.
And I am thankful that wl constantly pushes me to know myself better and learn so much more things about life, although not on purpose but more of indirectly. Really can't express how glad I am to know her. Looking forward to the remaining few weeks left. =D
Left office at 645pm with her and train-ed together. she exited the train at eunos when my mum called to ask me to eat something at eunos and go cdc myself... literally jumped out of the train. Looked for wl and she was really nice to accompany me to find some food to eat... Had the tau huey which may said was good. thought it was so-so only. took about 20mins to eat the tau huey while talking to her...
bus-ed to cdc. reached ard 830pm and i was so worried that i wont be able to book my driving tests! luckily the queue moved quite fast and i managed to book and get to my car on time... parallel parking today and it was fun! my instructor was a really chatty guy.. we talked alot while he taught and guided me to do parallel parking! i like him as an instructor man. but the car was quite bad. there wasn't cushion and i was rather short ( as usual) for the old car.... the steering wheel was really heavy but i guess just some arm exercises for me! haha.
Dad came to fetch me home. Showered and ate dinner at 11pm! oh well, good food are worth waiting for. hehehe.
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Today I showed wl my tumblr over lunch. It was really, a place where I concealed my thoughts during my most down periods last year and the special feelings for those few people which seems like it never went away. Honestly, I couldn't remb exactly what did i wrote about but roughly had an idea. Showing it to her was just as though i opened this little space of mine to some form of intrusion(which was the main reason why only A had access to it: i just wanted to protect my own thoughts). BUT, I didn't feel regretful or unhappy opening up and reading that own space myself. Afterall, She gave me her trust in telling me her thoughts, which in turn, gave me much more confidence to trust her with mine as well.
It's over, for the longest time already. I have braced through the obstacles and conquered A levels. I have led the most exciting adolescent period of my life in just NYJC. All that I have been through, it's long gone and remains as history in me.
I liked him. But i wasn't worth the wait. I came to realized that it's time to let go. He's been attached for 2 years now and our memories are history. It's time to move on. And I am glad that I came to a conclusion within myself that I have and will meet better people in my life who will in one point in time, change me for the greater good.
A levels was the toughest academic journey in my life but i have no regrets doing it. I have accomplished so much more and grown going through it. I have met people whose encouragements and help i couldn't have done without. Silin, pau, bella, ah ting, wip, kimmie. I conquered my lousiest subjects with tutors who never gave up on me. Ms V in lit and Ms Liang in maths. I'll probably never forget 11/11/11 and the times where ms liang dedicated all her time to us. I made it and am really proud of it.
So.... opening up the tumblr wasn't any form of harm to me afterall ( as i thought it would initially). I have gotten so much more affirmation and confidence in myself. Those emo times, it's over and I am moving to better times. Its those memories that pushes me to be more resilient and stronger.
And I am thankful that wl constantly pushes me to know myself better and learn so much more things about life, although not on purpose but more of indirectly. Really can't express how glad I am to know her. Looking forward to the remaining few weeks left. =D
Monday, May 14, 2012
Thousand Years
After hearing it at Jayesslee concert with Alvis two weeks back, I heard this song twice in the salon today. May and hui yi were talking about it on friday too. I find this song really meaningful. Love it. =D
"I've loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more"
Epiphany
Recently, I am starting to know more about wl.. I always thought she was closer to others but, came to realized it wasn't that true. She kinda opened up more about her own life to me nowadays and I feel glad that I have the chance to understand her more.
Honestly, this week with her was full of surprises. I got to know more and more about her which at different instances, I was shocked, surprised, happy and curious and sometimes, emotional. I am learning more from her as I discover her inner world.
There are alot of things which i can't explicitly blog about because I want to protect her privacy but yet, there are so much things that i have a thought to. I can only say I am thankful to be able to get to know her, and get to know her better. Although i do question some things she tell me (in my own mind), i find that I actually come to a better understanding and answer of life which every curiousity aroused. Perhaps, that's the thing they say about experiences come along with age.
I really appreciate that she is willing to share her own life with me. I've been learning so much more each day. Knowing her was one of the best thing that happened in 2012.
On a side note, at some point in time this week, i had an epiphany: "两个人在一起不需要宣告全世界，不需承认是情侣，彼此只要知道对方的心意，就可以很满足，很满足了。。。"
Honestly, this week with her was full of surprises. I got to know more and more about her which at different instances, I was shocked, surprised, happy and curious and sometimes, emotional. I am learning more from her as I discover her inner world.
There are alot of things which i can't explicitly blog about because I want to protect her privacy but yet, there are so much things that i have a thought to. I can only say I am thankful to be able to get to know her, and get to know her better. Although i do question some things she tell me (in my own mind), i find that I actually come to a better understanding and answer of life which every curiousity aroused. Perhaps, that's the thing they say about experiences come along with age.
I really appreciate that she is willing to share her own life with me. I've been learning so much more each day. Knowing her was one of the best thing that happened in 2012.
On a side note, at some point in time this week, i had an epiphany: "两个人在一起不需要宣告全世界，不需承认是情侣，彼此只要知道对方的心意，就可以很满足，很满足了。。。"
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Work and Play
Gonna blog about the past 5 days at work...
Mon was going to 5th floor MESRC for lunch with wai lin. While sam arrived at hkg, i was already eating hkg style noodles for lunch. Bought durian puffs with may too. had a rather long chat/slacking session at the lounge after we finished. the sofa too comfy alr. wanted to nap but i enjoyed chatting with wai lin more. I got to know more of her inner thoughts which i thought was nice... Driving at night was okay. Evaluation passed thankfully! The instructor wanted to fail me but he said he felt i was a good driver so passed me!
Tuesday was virina's birthday! nothing much at work i guess. just that while i was having dinner.... wailin called me and i didnt pick it up. she needed help with some email tech issues but i didnt see... luckily after that okay alr. chatted with her on the phone while on the way to cdc for final e-trial test.... i did 12 tests in 50 mins! hahaha.
Wednesday in office was quiet! HREs and Managers were out for HR Summit. Malini bought brunch for wai lin and i. Spent the morning clearing emails plus one of the stationary cupboard... went to market to have a drink cos i was super full. wailin was having a headache so we headed back to the office for nap time. afternoon was purely slacking. finished my e-trial for FTT. wai lin and I ended up clearing the boxes under her desks and I influenced her to clean up her desk with wet tissues. basically it was like a da sao chu!
Thursday was half day since i had FTT tests in the afternoon. started by teaching the nerw TC all the things she required to know and reading my FTT stuff. Wai lin brought the new TC out to holland v for lunch! hmpf! jealous much. I left at 1245 when my dad came to fetch me for lunch at tiong bahru market. Passed FTT in 10 mins.... lol. taxi-ed to parkway to settle my long-lost token before dad came to fetch me home. napped for 45 mins, showered and dad dropped me at bedok mrt. Train-ed to bugis to meet yiusi. Started our shopping before reg and yating came! Dinner was at ajisen ramen. we actually sat down in sakae sushi but went out after looking at the menu. Bought 3 dresses, 2 from bugis street 1 from KissJane in bugis junction. Loved the kissjane one!! my favorite of all time! Home-d at 1030pm!
Friday was alittle more busy as everyone was back in office. taught the TC some new things. her mistakes were really cute! May decided we should head to fusionpolis for lunch! good lunch i must say. hahaha. 6pm, i made malini stayed on to help archive emails. feel so bad.. cleared up and waited to wailin for awhile before walking to mrt together! the whole week i have been hijacking her phone to play scramble with her friend. haha. Napped abit after dinner before heading to I12 to watch Dark Shadows with brother. homed about 1230am!
Saturday was heading to FASS with shaojun! Dad fetched me to dover mrt. We went to explore the place for awhile before i waited at the mrt for sj. took shuttle bus to the open house and spend quite some time there. I am quite fascinated by some majors that i never thought i'll be interested/take it. Am super interested in philosophy now. it suits my character and personality i think... anw, we headed to bugis to meet yiusi and sam! it was kinda awkward at first but eventually, they became good friends! continued shopping at somerset with my qin ai de yiusi while sj and sam left. I bought a dress and a top at bugis st and 2 tops from h&m! quite happy with the h&m buys. headed back to bugis with qin ai de to change her shorts before i went to fu lu shou complex to see chinese doc. did acupuncture but i was short of $2! luckily annie was kind enough to let me owe her! homed for some good western food!
Sunday was breakfast before heading to driving lesson. not bad lesson today! jordan came to help with the garden and i only served them spaghetti. headed to piano lesson and went to cut my hair! a new change i must say. I like it quite alot! shall leave it for surprise tmr. pictures will be up soon!
That's about my week thus far...
Mon was going to 5th floor MESRC for lunch with wai lin. While sam arrived at hkg, i was already eating hkg style noodles for lunch. Bought durian puffs with may too. had a rather long chat/slacking session at the lounge after we finished. the sofa too comfy alr. wanted to nap but i enjoyed chatting with wai lin more. I got to know more of her inner thoughts which i thought was nice... Driving at night was okay. Evaluation passed thankfully! The instructor wanted to fail me but he said he felt i was a good driver so passed me!
Tuesday was virina's birthday! nothing much at work i guess. just that while i was having dinner.... wailin called me and i didnt pick it up. she needed help with some email tech issues but i didnt see... luckily after that okay alr. chatted with her on the phone while on the way to cdc for final e-trial test.... i did 12 tests in 50 mins! hahaha.
Wednesday in office was quiet! HREs and Managers were out for HR Summit. Malini bought brunch for wai lin and i. Spent the morning clearing emails plus one of the stationary cupboard... went to market to have a drink cos i was super full. wailin was having a headache so we headed back to the office for nap time. afternoon was purely slacking. finished my e-trial for FTT. wai lin and I ended up clearing the boxes under her desks and I influenced her to clean up her desk with wet tissues. basically it was like a da sao chu!
Thursday was half day since i had FTT tests in the afternoon. started by teaching the nerw TC all the things she required to know and reading my FTT stuff. Wai lin brought the new TC out to holland v for lunch! hmpf! jealous much. I left at 1245 when my dad came to fetch me for lunch at tiong bahru market. Passed FTT in 10 mins.... lol. taxi-ed to parkway to settle my long-lost token before dad came to fetch me home. napped for 45 mins, showered and dad dropped me at bedok mrt. Train-ed to bugis to meet yiusi. Started our shopping before reg and yating came! Dinner was at ajisen ramen. we actually sat down in sakae sushi but went out after looking at the menu. Bought 3 dresses, 2 from bugis street 1 from KissJane in bugis junction. Loved the kissjane one!! my favorite of all time! Home-d at 1030pm!
Friday was alittle more busy as everyone was back in office. taught the TC some new things. her mistakes were really cute! May decided we should head to fusionpolis for lunch! good lunch i must say. hahaha. 6pm, i made malini stayed on to help archive emails. feel so bad.. cleared up and waited to wailin for awhile before walking to mrt together! the whole week i have been hijacking her phone to play scramble with her friend. haha. Napped abit after dinner before heading to I12 to watch Dark Shadows with brother. homed about 1230am!
Saturday was heading to FASS with shaojun! Dad fetched me to dover mrt. We went to explore the place for awhile before i waited at the mrt for sj. took shuttle bus to the open house and spend quite some time there. I am quite fascinated by some majors that i never thought i'll be interested/take it. Am super interested in philosophy now. it suits my character and personality i think... anw, we headed to bugis to meet yiusi and sam! it was kinda awkward at first but eventually, they became good friends! continued shopping at somerset with my qin ai de yiusi while sj and sam left. I bought a dress and a top at bugis st and 2 tops from h&m! quite happy with the h&m buys. headed back to bugis with qin ai de to change her shorts before i went to fu lu shou complex to see chinese doc. did acupuncture but i was short of $2! luckily annie was kind enough to let me owe her! homed for some good western food!
Sunday was breakfast before heading to driving lesson. not bad lesson today! jordan came to help with the garden and i only served them spaghetti. headed to piano lesson and went to cut my hair! a new change i must say. I like it quite alot! shall leave it for surprise tmr. pictures will be up soon!
That's about my week thus far...
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Ms Yanggggggg
Last day of April...
Just before we step into may, some incidents happened today.. Shall not elaborate too much. but can just say, everything's accumulative. Broke down probably because of the stress from Jeanette's leaving, rushing for NYCO's concert and the fact that reality is just like this: people assume you know everything and not everyone's just as cooperative as you thought it will be like.
Morning was still alright though I would have hoped that I'm actually being more updated about the assistance I am required to give. Interview was pretty slack though there were 2 on-going concurrently. Lunch was probably the only time I felt safe within me. Thought all the emo-times were just part and parcel of school life; didn't expect that working could actually arouse such feelings again. Had this urge to just escape. Didn't want lunch break to end: didn't want to go back after a meal at the market, didn't want to go back and nap despite all the tiredness I've been complaining all morning - I just wanted to sit there in the canteen. Sounds familiar like how I wished I could sit in one corner of NYJC and just do my own things huh?
Chat with ms yang was good I must say; she made me felt comfortable above everything else. She's one person I wouldn't be able to survive with in the office. Kinda touched alittle about life cos I was being emo as usual. So, life is just about studying for 12 years, earning a degree to get a job, getting back to studying at higher levels just to get higher jobs and we just die after that. Pretty sad isn't it? When we were younger, we dream, we soar for greater heights. As we grow, all dreams vanish and what's left of it is just a plain cycle. I used to believe I wanna be a lawyer or an actress and a part-time wedding photographer when I grow up. But recently when Alvis asked me to tell him about my dream, I had nothing in mind. Maybe, just maybe, I might find the courage to pursue my own dreams one day.
Chatting about random facts and matters about life amuses me. Because many people live a life, but little question the meaning of living. Perhaps, being a (forced) literature student made me into a person who questions about about our existence, about my existence. But despite everything, I simply love chatting with ms yang because I have nothing to tie me down when we talk.
Honestly, I've learnt so much more in life than in school from her. Afterall, we live not just to study, right? She showed me the smallest fact that the term "young at heart" actually exists, and that age and background doesn't matter in the pursuit of friendship. I used to believe people who said all this were just living in their own fairytale, but no, it exists, it really does. And at least, she has an idea of what she wanna do in life. Giving herself one year before deciding on further embarkments, I can just say, I am pretty much a loser cos I have no idea what I wanna do in life now. And one thing I will have to learn from her is that going out alone is not a bad thing all in all. In terms of educational background, I have never had friends who have differing educational status as me. And i can firmly say that ms yanggg makes a better friend (and colleague) than many of my other friends who claim themselves to be more superior because they are "smarter" in terms of singapore's educational system. Perhaps, express students are just too snobbish afterall, no doubt about that. Everyone's just too judgemental.
Well, I would have say I was pretty emotional since I nearly cried at the interview centre and whenever J come over to me and ask if I am okay. I tried my best to cover my unstable emotions (which I am well aware of), I refrained from talking whenever possible and I tried not to do anything else except clearing emails. I attempted to not think of anything and not to look anyone in the eye. I just wanted to be anti-social and alone for the remaining afternoon.
I would have continued sitting there trying with all my abilities to finish any work left undone if not for ms yang who asked if I wanted to leave. I thought if I were to continue sitting there, I'll probably get some form of depression by the time i left the place... so... I relented to leaving at 630pm.
Anti-social mode was kinda still on when I left but I can tell you, hanging out with ms yanggg switches off everything. Maybe there is just something in her that makes me smile everytime i talk to her. And the fact that she's pretty funny doesn't helps at all. I would say I felt much much much much (aiya you get the point) better when I talked to her. even for that short 20 mins? Aiya, I really don't know how to explain that feeling la... ( eh don't think wrongly. not ai mei feeling) it's just very nice and calming to talk to her.. Feel really relaxed after that. She's just the one and only person who saw/know of my 'evil' side: my attitude ( yes I have a bad attitude, just that usually i just ignore all negativities), my temper and how i can bear grudges and complains for a long time.
I admit I have a damn bad temper; try annoying me and I'll give you the most idiotic attitude back. I have no qualms on scolding people (for those who know me very well) but in recent years, i relented to being more sunshine. Kinda figured out life's too short to be forever angsty and decided to just stay happy-go-lucky most of the time. BUT, i do have spikes once in a while and I guess that's pretty normal, since I am human too. I can bear grudges for a long time but i usually forget after a while too. So... sorry to those who I have bear some grudge against.
Received a call from M while waiting for parents at bedok. It's quite obvious what she was gonna ask when I saw her name on my phone. And so yes, I was feeling very much better than in the office alr so I had a usual chatty convo with her ( with me disturbing her most of the time). I just didn't want her to get worried. Feel kinda bad that I indirectly implied that she's the least important exec there but she herself agreed to the point cos she is BLUR, no doubts about that. She's just another person I can tell almost everything to (i have some reservations still though), and I always like to complain to her. haha. but yes, It was not too bad talking to her and it was really nice of her to call and check on me. Blur as she is, but she's really nice.
I was really thankful to have Alvis on whatsapp with me. With my dearests all busy and abroad, I couldn't have complain to any one of them when I exploded. How I wish my babe sam could be whatsapping me but she's in taiwan. And there's qin ai de yiusi who's having exams. But luckily, there was someone outside office I could still 'talk' to. He really read all my angsty messages and reply them promptly ( even more prompt than my messages) and gave me alot of consolations. Thankyou Alvis. =D
Lastly, I really really wanna say thanks to ms yanggggg. All these times in the office, I couldn't survive without you ( talking to you, joking and disturbing you, playing with the soft toys available, having lunch and the list goes on and on). I was just thinking if i should stay till end june instead of my planned end may and you were just partially right. I am considering to stay for malini yes, but not just her, but because I know I'll always have good company in the office with you around. Sorry for all the times I distracted you from work and yes you can always intro your NSF to me. =D
Just before we step into may, some incidents happened today.. Shall not elaborate too much. but can just say, everything's accumulative. Broke down probably because of the stress from Jeanette's leaving, rushing for NYCO's concert and the fact that reality is just like this: people assume you know everything and not everyone's just as cooperative as you thought it will be like.
Morning was still alright though I would have hoped that I'm actually being more updated about the assistance I am required to give. Interview was pretty slack though there were 2 on-going concurrently. Lunch was probably the only time I felt safe within me. Thought all the emo-times were just part and parcel of school life; didn't expect that working could actually arouse such feelings again. Had this urge to just escape. Didn't want lunch break to end: didn't want to go back after a meal at the market, didn't want to go back and nap despite all the tiredness I've been complaining all morning - I just wanted to sit there in the canteen. Sounds familiar like how I wished I could sit in one corner of NYJC and just do my own things huh?
Chat with ms yang was good I must say; she made me felt comfortable above everything else. She's one person I wouldn't be able to survive with in the office. Kinda touched alittle about life cos I was being emo as usual. So, life is just about studying for 12 years, earning a degree to get a job, getting back to studying at higher levels just to get higher jobs and we just die after that. Pretty sad isn't it? When we were younger, we dream, we soar for greater heights. As we grow, all dreams vanish and what's left of it is just a plain cycle. I used to believe I wanna be a lawyer or an actress and a part-time wedding photographer when I grow up. But recently when Alvis asked me to tell him about my dream, I had nothing in mind. Maybe, just maybe, I might find the courage to pursue my own dreams one day.
Chatting about random facts and matters about life amuses me. Because many people live a life, but little question the meaning of living. Perhaps, being a (forced) literature student made me into a person who questions about about our existence, about my existence. But despite everything, I simply love chatting with ms yang because I have nothing to tie me down when we talk.
Honestly, I've learnt so much more in life than in school from her. Afterall, we live not just to study, right? She showed me the smallest fact that the term "young at heart" actually exists, and that age and background doesn't matter in the pursuit of friendship. I used to believe people who said all this were just living in their own fairytale, but no, it exists, it really does. And at least, she has an idea of what she wanna do in life. Giving herself one year before deciding on further embarkments, I can just say, I am pretty much a loser cos I have no idea what I wanna do in life now. And one thing I will have to learn from her is that going out alone is not a bad thing all in all. In terms of educational background, I have never had friends who have differing educational status as me. And i can firmly say that ms yanggg makes a better friend (and colleague) than many of my other friends who claim themselves to be more superior because they are "smarter" in terms of singapore's educational system. Perhaps, express students are just too snobbish afterall, no doubt about that. Everyone's just too judgemental.
Well, I would have say I was pretty emotional since I nearly cried at the interview centre and whenever J come over to me and ask if I am okay. I tried my best to cover my unstable emotions (which I am well aware of), I refrained from talking whenever possible and I tried not to do anything else except clearing emails. I attempted to not think of anything and not to look anyone in the eye. I just wanted to be anti-social and alone for the remaining afternoon.
I would have continued sitting there trying with all my abilities to finish any work left undone if not for ms yang who asked if I wanted to leave. I thought if I were to continue sitting there, I'll probably get some form of depression by the time i left the place... so... I relented to leaving at 630pm.
Anti-social mode was kinda still on when I left but I can tell you, hanging out with ms yanggg switches off everything. Maybe there is just something in her that makes me smile everytime i talk to her. And the fact that she's pretty funny doesn't helps at all. I would say I felt much much much much (aiya you get the point) better when I talked to her. even for that short 20 mins? Aiya, I really don't know how to explain that feeling la... ( eh don't think wrongly. not ai mei feeling) it's just very nice and calming to talk to her.. Feel really relaxed after that. She's just the one and only person who saw/know of my 'evil' side: my attitude ( yes I have a bad attitude, just that usually i just ignore all negativities), my temper and how i can bear grudges and complains for a long time.
I admit I have a damn bad temper; try annoying me and I'll give you the most idiotic attitude back. I have no qualms on scolding people (for those who know me very well) but in recent years, i relented to being more sunshine. Kinda figured out life's too short to be forever angsty and decided to just stay happy-go-lucky most of the time. BUT, i do have spikes once in a while and I guess that's pretty normal, since I am human too. I can bear grudges for a long time but i usually forget after a while too. So... sorry to those who I have bear some grudge against.
Received a call from M while waiting for parents at bedok. It's quite obvious what she was gonna ask when I saw her name on my phone. And so yes, I was feeling very much better than in the office alr so I had a usual chatty convo with her ( with me disturbing her most of the time). I just didn't want her to get worried. Feel kinda bad that I indirectly implied that she's the least important exec there but she herself agreed to the point cos she is BLUR, no doubts about that. She's just another person I can tell almost everything to (i have some reservations still though), and I always like to complain to her. haha. but yes, It was not too bad talking to her and it was really nice of her to call and check on me. Blur as she is, but she's really nice.
I was really thankful to have Alvis on whatsapp with me. With my dearests all busy and abroad, I couldn't have complain to any one of them when I exploded. How I wish my babe sam could be whatsapping me but she's in taiwan. And there's qin ai de yiusi who's having exams. But luckily, there was someone outside office I could still 'talk' to. He really read all my angsty messages and reply them promptly ( even more prompt than my messages) and gave me alot of consolations. Thankyou Alvis. =D
Lastly, I really really wanna say thanks to ms yanggggg. All these times in the office, I couldn't survive without you ( talking to you, joking and disturbing you, playing with the soft toys available, having lunch and the list goes on and on). I was just thinking if i should stay till end june instead of my planned end may and you were just partially right. I am considering to stay for malini yes, but not just her, but because I know I'll always have good company in the office with you around. Sorry for all the times I distracted you from work and yes you can always intro your NSF to me. =D
Monday, April 23, 2012
First half of April
Okay just some updates about how i spent april thus far.
April's fool started with me having my 1st piano diploma lesson with Jezz. He's a really cool guy and he is freaking talented. Really glad to have such a great music teacher. We were pretty friendly from the start and he gave me a contemporary piece for sight-reading. Oh and the piece he wants me to play for dip is my bro's grade 8 piece as well.
On the night of the 4th, had an argument. Was just discussing about the daji juniors and exchanging opinions about them but ended up, some others disagreed with my pov and actually scolded me. Was really tired alr so wanted to just sleep but ended up rebutting back. The next day i was so emo that i whatsapp ironwoman asking her weird qns. Luckily everything's alright now.
Next up, 5th April was my dearest Liyin's grad show at Vivocity. Chiong down after work to meet sam and yating for dinner before heading to the amphitheatre. The gals went to buy gongcha and fetch virina while i waited there for the event to start. The clothings presented at the fashion show were really cool I must say. After that was going around vivo searching for presents for liyin before we got sam to distract yating so that the rest of us could get present for her as well. Then, we surprised liyin with the cake and present at food republic, with her mom, sis and grandma there. Headed home afterwards and had good talks with yating, sam and huixian in the train..
But.... something happened in the night. NTU required me to submit min 1 max 3 appraisal form. And so i got two JC tutors and 1 sec sch tutor to write for me. The one from my Sec sch tutor was supposed to be the most important. reminded her to complete it at 830pm while watching the fashion show but end up, she didn't do it. I was pretty upset by it and I actually got restless about the whole thing and whatsapp-ed ironwoman about it. She was alittle shock cos she thought I was talking about her.
okay anw, good friday was spent going to the titanic exhibition with bro and sis and wicked with bro in the night. Titanic exhibition was awesome! Love the boarding passes they gave. We folded our own lifeboats and headed for dinner at the food court. Bought macarons too, it was freaking expensive but well, once in a long while. hehe. Starting of Wicked was alittle boring and I fell asleep for awhile but the 2nd half was really good! They gave us a free wicked bottle too cos it was easter!
Saturday was spent going back to sch for CO pracs in the morn and then home to await jia en's arrival! I had my first experience hand-washing clothes too cos my grandma was here! She ended up helping me wash bulk of it. BUT.. i did wash a few too. Damn tiring actually. The night was spent with my little cousin... playing angry birds, going by the pool side and feeding her junk food like ice cream and jagabee. haha fun fun night with jia en...
9-13apr
It was a super hectic week at work cos Jeanette wasn't around. I had to tend to interviews everyday except thursday. Even had interviews in the morn and afternoon on friday! And i got prank by the computer almost everyday. mon was the computer beeping nonstop when i tried to on it, tues was internet down, weds was problem with using on the monitor! Must be Jeanette's prank! I was telling wailin that i can't go out for lunch for almost whole week! luckily managed to spend some time eating with her on weds... but she took half day leaves too so i didnt get to talk to her that much. AND.. we neglected jeanette the soft toy and wong wong. told wai lin they can mian bi si guo for the whole week. Stayed back for OT almost everyday except thursday too cos there were simply TOO MANY emails to clear alr.
On thursday night, i went back to school to have sectionals with wu laoshi. Met yuxin at nex beforehand. she helped me to buy my fav hokkien mee while waiting for me to reach. Bought icing room's cheese cake bars and headed back to sch. Left one cheese cake bar in liang's pigeon hole and walked back to CO room. Only called her to tell her while walking halfway and like 2 mins later, she texted and said thanks. she must be super hungry to be so efficient in collecting food. haha.
Yuxin and I had our dinner outside CO room at the fitness corner. It;s a place filled with much memories. All the times sitting there eating, be it breakfast, lunch or dinner in the midst of our practices. Practice was good and i enjoy the daji times spent together.
Okay, this is the first half of how i spent april. Shall continue on part 2 soon. =D
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Destiny
Recently, I realized everything in life is destined and planned...
Was looking at pictures taken back in 2009 on facebook. Happened to notice that the crabby tutor was wearing her Kent Ridge Hall shirt in the photo... I only know what's 'Kent Ridge Hall' after attending NUS open house recently but this information was alr 'given' to me 3 years ago.
And i met her together w juan ning and huan wen at music dreamer live cafe when it was my first time there. The cafe had so little ppl that night yet there were so many ppl i know. and it was the most awesome experience at the cafe. Had so much fun talking to huan wen and whatsapp-ing the crabby tutor.
I met Hui Hui at the math rep forum last year. Met only for that one time and we didn't talk or even smile at each other in school afterwards. We only have each other on fb! then now, just cos i asked her one qn, we became pretty good friends.
Then yesterday, I wanted to go back down to the 6th floor after delivering items to the 10th floor. I unknowingly stepped out of the lift at 8th floor cos some guy was waiting for the lift too. So after realizing that Im on the wrong floor, I waited for another lift. And the most unexpected thing happened! The lift door opened and I was stunned for a sec cos mrs emily sim was inside! Honestly, thought that i could look for her when i first came to HQ but realized that each teacher who transfer in only stays for 2 years. But still, I met her in the most surprising manner. If I didn't get out of the wrong floor..... Destined isn't it?
This morning, I met Mrs Bheem, my primary school prinicipal while walking to work. It's been so long since I last saw her. Probably when i was in Primary 4 when she left KCP. And we talked. Got to know that she's working at HQ too and I look forward to meeting her conincidentally more often.
Last is ms sherry tan. We have the most... fate? I've met her once on the bus, at an escalator, at parkway and the other day, in the lift of HQ. She doesn't works in the main building of HQ but we met cos she was here for meeting. and then, I met her again while going back to the office from interview centre. And at MOE exCEL Fest. Fact is.. I don't know her personally. We just recognized one another cos we were both from KC? How fated is that?
Therefore, I think everything in life is destined. A person or a thing may be beside you for the longest time alr but you only get to understand it's significance and get to know more about it when the right time comes.
Was looking at pictures taken back in 2009 on facebook. Happened to notice that the crabby tutor was wearing her Kent Ridge Hall shirt in the photo... I only know what's 'Kent Ridge Hall' after attending NUS open house recently but this information was alr 'given' to me 3 years ago.
And i met her together w juan ning and huan wen at music dreamer live cafe when it was my first time there. The cafe had so little ppl that night yet there were so many ppl i know. and it was the most awesome experience at the cafe. Had so much fun talking to huan wen and whatsapp-ing the crabby tutor.
I met Hui Hui at the math rep forum last year. Met only for that one time and we didn't talk or even smile at each other in school afterwards. We only have each other on fb! then now, just cos i asked her one qn, we became pretty good friends.
Then yesterday, I wanted to go back down to the 6th floor after delivering items to the 10th floor. I unknowingly stepped out of the lift at 8th floor cos some guy was waiting for the lift too. So after realizing that Im on the wrong floor, I waited for another lift. And the most unexpected thing happened! The lift door opened and I was stunned for a sec cos mrs emily sim was inside! Honestly, thought that i could look for her when i first came to HQ but realized that each teacher who transfer in only stays for 2 years. But still, I met her in the most surprising manner. If I didn't get out of the wrong floor..... Destined isn't it?
This morning, I met Mrs Bheem, my primary school prinicipal while walking to work. It's been so long since I last saw her. Probably when i was in Primary 4 when she left KCP. And we talked. Got to know that she's working at HQ too and I look forward to meeting her conincidentally more often.
Last is ms sherry tan. We have the most... fate? I've met her once on the bus, at an escalator, at parkway and the other day, in the lift of HQ. She doesn't works in the main building of HQ but we met cos she was here for meeting. and then, I met her again while going back to the office from interview centre. And at MOE exCEL Fest. Fact is.. I don't know her personally. We just recognized one another cos we were both from KC? How fated is that?
Therefore, I think everything in life is destined. A person or a thing may be beside you for the longest time alr but you only get to understand it's significance and get to know more about it when the right time comes.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Convention for those wounded in love
General provisions:
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battlefield, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battlefield, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
~Paulo Coelho
Canon S100 Powershot
Some scenic photos i took while in Beijing. I think I love the leaf-less trees and the sunsets the most. Quite happy with my works of art this trip, especially with my new canon S100 Powershot. hehe.
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